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7 Reasons Why Vibrators Will Never Replace Men

This is why:

1. Orgasms Alone Aren’t Enough

A vibrator (check out this site) can provide toe-curling ecstasy, but that’s about it. It won’t be able to flirt with you. From across the bar, it won’t look at you. With a dildo, you can forget about erotically charged banter or enthralling cocktail talk. Because there will be no disputes, there will be no furious make-up sex (although there might be yelling when the batteries run out). A hunk of plastic can’t give you a sweet kiss on the neck or endearingly fumble with your blouse’s buttons. It will not speak in a derogatory manner (it only gets dirty, and it never ever cleans itself). It won’t be very good at post-coital cuddling, either. Orgasms are fantastic, but it’s the rest of the package that makes sex sex.

2. Have You Recently Seen a Penis?

You’re probably a heterosexual male based on the fact that you’re reading this, and as a heterosexual dude living in a puritanical, homophobic culture, you’re probably thinking, “ew, penises, yuck.” So, here’s what I’d say from a female perspective: They’re stunning. Miraculous. Divine. Any straight woman who has overcome her own sexual insecurities will tell you this. No vibrator will ever match the aesthetic beauty of an actual dick, no matter how many world-class industrial designers you throw at the challenge of developing a sleek new sex toy. Fact.

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3. Have you ever heard someone say that women would be replaced with fleshlights?

I’m betting it’s a resounding “no.” Why should vibrators and guys be any different?

4. Vibrators Aren’t All That Great

As a sex writer, I’m often sent new sex toys. This used to be a significant benefit of the work. I’m starting to see how similar they all are. They lack the variety of genuine, living guys in terms of appearance and movement. The vibrators, not the men, have spent the majority of their lives in landfills.

5. Sex Toys Are Your Companion

Back when women were expected to climax solely via penetration, a dread of vibrators seemed natural. But, these days, we’re all aware that most women require some manual assistance as well, aren’t we? That isn’t meant as a slight on your sexual prowess; it’s just simple biology. Instead of considering vibes as a substitute for men, consider them as a tool for better-partnered sex. I’ve even seen intelligent men brag about their Hitachi-wielding prowess. There’s nothing more manly than a man who isn’t threatened by a phallus that isn’t real.

6. Its Difficulty Isn’t Even Relevant

We’re turning you on, says a hard dick, and that turns us on. A boner is your penis’s idea of a round of applause. We like to know how our nude bodies and skillfully executed gyrations are perceived. Nothing beats a little positive reinforcement to help us unwind and get in the mood. What’s more, guess what? A vibrator is usually difficult to use. Who needs that kind of phoney adoration?

7. You Can Find Out What We Enjoy

You know how to react to our groans and wriggling. You can tell which facial contortions suggest “keep going” and which ones mean “try something new.” Even better, you’ll be able to recall what works and what doesn’t the next time around.

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